Mr. Spanks: Mischief Maker Extraordinaire

Since this is my first post (of many to come), I thought I'd let you all know who Mr. Spanks is. This is not some weird porno site, but, instead, a place where I can go to rave about my new kitten, the aforementioned Mr. Spanks.

I like to imagine that Mr. Spanks was born Reginald T. Spanks Esquire to a wealthy set of parents. His mother was a cat nurse and his father was an accountant for the Tidy Cat company. Unfortunately, when Mr. Spanks was only a week old, his father, feeling the burden of a new child and a wife he never really loved and only married to try to hide from his own gay tendencies, could no longer take it and killed himself and his wife in a tragic murder-suicide.

Coincidentally, this is exactly what happened to me and my parents.

But this blog isn't about me. It's about the greatest and only friend in my life, Mr. Spanks.

Precious Mr. Spanks
You are my shining beacon
Filled with majesty

Sorry. Sometimes I just need to write haikus or other poems because I'm overflowing with such joy and not, in any way, to compensate for the despair and emptiness in my life!

I would take pictures and post them for everybody to see, but I don't allow cameras or mirrors in my house. Who needs to know how they look anyway? I mean, people in olden, Jesus times didn't have mirrors and Jesus was good looking--even on the cross. Besides, in His eyes, we are all beautiful. In Heaven, our hunchbacks go away.

So, in lieu of an actual picture, here is a drawing that I spent 45 minutes on. If you saw him, you would know that this looks exactly like him. Except, he isn't all white, but every time I clicked the bucket of paint on Mr. Spanks's picture, it would go all over the screen and I couldn't figure out why. So, this is kind of what he would look like if he was a ghost.

But he'll never be a ghost because Mr. Spanks and I will live forever and nothing will ever go bad for either of us again.

Oh, pretty kitty
You pee all over my clothes
But not on my heart